For many years before
having children I taught dance full time at a ballet studio in Toronto. When
my first son was born, I took a break from teaching and didn’t return to studio
life, even part time, until my second son was almost a year old. During those three
years away from teaching and with the busyness of babies, I didn’t do much directly
related to the dance world. But then when I returned to the studio three years
and two children later, I immediately realized that, in some ways at least, I
had become a better dance teacher.
Becoming a mother had
made me a better teacher.
Here’s why: prior to being
a mother myself, though I always loved my students and believed each one was valuable,
and though I of course intellectually realized that each student I taught was
the daughter of parents, it wasn’t until after I had children myself that I
fully understood just how valuable each one of these young dancers was to their
mother and their father.
Before having kids, I
was more easily annoyed with annoying children. Before having my own, I wasn’t
as quick to search for qualities that made each child special. Quite simply, before,
I wasn’t able to look at each child and, during both easy and challenging
moments alike, think to myself, This is
someone’s beloved daughter. She could be mine. I will treat her as I hope
someone would treat my very own child.
Becoming a mother made
me a better teacher because I found myself valuing each child more—especially in
the tough moments—and looking at them not only as my student but as some mother's beloved, cherished child.
Life is often organic
like this, isn’t it? Something shifts in one part of our experience and,
without even realizing it, another part of us grows and changes into something
better than it was before.
In the dance studio just
as in life, not all children are equally talented or equally enjoyable to teach.
That’s just the way it is. But though not equally talented or enjoyable, all
children are equally valuable because their worth is not connected to their flexibility,
their turn out, their feet, or their cuteness. Their value is connected to who they are despite all these other
things.
And this is why becoming
a mother not only made me a better ballet teacher but also a better Christian.
When we look at our
brothers and sisters in Christ, we’re not looking at people we should love
because of their gracefulness, talent, ability, likability, or personality; we
love them because they’re adopted and beloved children of the living God.
There have been
moments of being a pastor’s wife when I’ve gotten annoyed with some of God’s
kids. Let’s be honest. We all have. Pastor’s wife or not. But something I’ve
appreciated, something that has reoriented
my heart in those times when I’m annoyed or angry or resentful of others
has been Justin’s gentle reminder: Elisha,
don’t forget who this person is; this is someone who Christ died for; this is a
son, a daughter, God loves; this is a beloved child of your Father; when it
doesn’t come naturally, love them because He loves them; don’t forget who they
are.
Before I had children
of my own, someone once said to me that the quickest way to any parent’s heart
is to love their children. Three kids later, and oh how I know this to be true.
If you want to love me, love my children.
Our Father says the
same.
Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of Him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. ~ 1 John 5:1-2
